A NOT-SO-ORDINARY THURSDAY MORNING

Well July21, 2011 was another a-little-EXTRA-ordinary day in my life. There was action, emotion and off course a dab of drama all blended to perfection. I had fainted in a blood group test in our cell biology laboratory. I generally have a horrible time in situations with needles and blood, especially when you have to pierce yourself (this reminds me only and only of the Saw series). Still when I recall the first sensation when my mind realized that it was put in a situation in which it had to confront its greatest fear, a chill runs down my spine.

When I walked in the lab I was totally unaware of the fact that the next 20 minutes that were going to change the day’s peaceful morning into turmoil. I had come to a crunch when the teacher said the practical’s name. My mind was totally horrified when the teacher announced that the practical of the day was a blood group test. I had faced a similar situation in standard 12^th when we had this practical. But with time fears had deepened. They had become grave.  I was feeling the turmoil inside me. Meanwhile my mind had started its procedure of an instant power cut. While the teacher was explaining blood groups, I was fighting the worst enemy I have ever met, my own mind, which had totally succumbed to its fear. The silence was the strangest thing. Round me the morning continued; teachers teaching, students attending classes, ‘akkas and annas’ running placidly about their business….. But to me all had shrunk to the dimensions of the lab, the people in it and myself engaged in my soundless struggle, plunged and reared enormous.

 I could feel the power fading in my cerebral township. I breathed hard and deep, tightened my fist with all my strength to pump up the power supply but of no use. I grinded my jaws together (in order to defy my mind’s proceedings). I was already running on an emergency back-up power. But the mind was powerful. Fighting some 30 billion neurons, bewitched in their own over-whelming fear, is not that easy. Just like an entire city’s myriad and intricate systems like the transport system, the sophisticated communications setup, etc., are plunged into darkness by a single power outage, my whole conscious network of high nerve centers stopped. And I was dragged into darkness.  I even did not realize when my shutters had closed. I had fainted. In my state of unconsciousness I felt like the struggle and anxiety and everything was just a dream. In the dream the battle continued. Here, it seemed that the dream was the reality and the reality the dream. But as it is said that sooner or later though we all have to wake up, I regained consciousness. As the power supply returned the blur vision cleared and I could see some faces glaring at me so inquisitively as if I was some alien creature and that my spaceship had crashed in their locality. But our lab teacher was smiling. His smile was like the one portrayed by the actor who played the role of Shree Krishna in Mahabharata. He was as cool as a cucumber. I faintly murmured him that I wasn’t okay with this experiment and I wanted to go to my hostel, looking apologetically at him as his class was held because of me. When my motor reflexes got a little stronger I got up and walked out the lab. I was a little toddling but I was greatly relieved that I escaped out of the room which then seemed to me no less than a dungeon and I was put to test similar to that in which ‘Jigsaw’ puts people (you have to cut yourself, bleed in order to live). It had similar elements of violence and psychological disturbance. I stood uncertainly for a moment detaching myself from the scene, from the morning, from the malignantly smiling teacher.

Consequently I hit the headlines that day in my department. Well to be true, I would say it was one of the embarrassing days of my life. As Preeti Shenoy in her book ’34 bubblegums and candies’ says that life is sometimes like a candy, sweet and tasty, but it is also sometimes like a bubblegum which you chew and chew, and the bubble you blow bursts out unexpectedly and you are left with a sticky mess, I have realized that people are too busy minding their own lives than to bother laughing at you. And hence I treat it like yesterday’s newspaper.

THE ANATOMY OF LOVE

Love love love tum karo…

Love se na tum daro…

The song from the movie ‘Ishq Vishq’ is just an example of the numerous songs of Hindi movies which have complicated our lives. And I believe Shah Rukh Khan has confused a generation with his characters Raj or Rahul. Yet perceptions about love vary a lot among people. “Love is an unspoken promise that two hearts live forever” says Neetu Mittal. Sanchit Aggarwal has a different point of view, “Love is good till you are blind… I guess love doesn’t exist in the real world”. While Rishav Kumar says “Love is something which sets your mind, heart and soul on fire, be it for anything”. Vivek Ojha says”Love is when your wants turns into your needs”.

Well some studies also say that. Some prefer to keep silent on this topic. But love takes over, even the silent. It is true that when you meet your special person, new love cuts you off from family and friends and prompts out-of-character behavior -compulsive phone calling and yelling from rooftops. The trends are many. Being in a relationship is a trend, whether the person is ready for it or not. It is something like atoms become stable only when they form molecules. Being single is not cool. There it creates a deep pressure to fall in love. The situation is like you go to a shopping- mall and pick up a t-shirt just because friends are doing so, not thinking even once whether you need it or not. Or it can be better understood by the FFCS course registrations of our university. You have to choose the best among those available. There is a rush too as the good ones are being booked with time passing (I would here blame those who disturbed the sex ratio).

So, pumped up by all this, X (a boy) proposes Y (a girl). Y first hesitates considering the gravity of her social image, takes time to ponder and finally accepts. And then her FB status changes from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’- 79 people like this. And she thinks ‘Damn! I missed 80 by one.’ Both X and Y feel the bubbles inside them (even if the bubbles are due to gastric indigestion) and life is so colorful and rosy for them. Then slowly the thorns are visible in the roses. Arguments and quarrels become a part of their ‘dinchariya’.  They fight for the silliest of reasons. And then after the whole day of showing anger, X tries to coax Y on the phone. But Y is too angry today and she slams the call. X gets frustrated and then the victims are generally the mobile phones or the mirrors and innocent sleeping room-mates. Finally a Samaritan comes to their rescue and settles their matter. And then things are back to normal. Again they talk long hours on the phone till the crack of dawn on important matters like how many chapattis they ate that day. Gradually things change with the age of their relation and the colors seem to fade. They also change slowly but they themselves cannot accept the changes of each other. The intensity of the fights grows with passing time and one day Y exclaims, ‘I don’t think it’s working any more’. X pretends to be shocked (feeling the same inside; may be last night after their quarrel a wise friend had kicked some sense into him that all this while he was over-doing things). So as their hangover of love fades, they decide to break apart. The MAGIC love turns TRAGIC. And then after the sad healing period, their cycles are repeated (the cupid strikes again). This is the general trend.

Now let us go to the basics of why people jump into relationships. The first reason I find may be the fear of segregation. People follow trends out of a fear to be left alone (whether they like it or not). And hence people swing it the direction of the wind. The second may be the speed factor. Life has become fast and speed is worshipped here (even more than accuracy, I guess). Hence people are not ready to wait for the right person. The third reason may be the excitement of the future. It is human psychology that the next phase of life always appears to be more thrilling than the current one. It is like your plans for the next semester. Life would be great if you focus on the current one. As a result, people enter a premature ‘grihastha’ stage of life. Remember pre-maturation is always a case of abnormality in biology. Become ‘family people’ only when you think you are ready. A serious reason may be some have poor family relations. Their cups are empty. The last reason is the most serious and it is the biochemistry of hormones which causes the law of attraction. “Biochemically speaking, it’s analogous to craving for chocolates. The craving maybe be hunger, may be attraction, may be desire, lust to some perverts, but it is all the same basically you are trying to please the pleasure centers of your brain” says Arka Mondal. But a study says falling in love is the most irrational of human behaviors, not merely a matter of satisfying a simple pleasure, or winning a reward. Moreover the study says this distinction, between finding someone attractive and desiring him or her, between liking and wanting, is all happening in an area of mammalian brain that takes care of most basic functions, like eating, drinking, eye movements, all at an unconscious level.

“Love is when mom kisses me, love is when dad looks at me that one day when he is sitting on couch watching television n I come back from the work and say "dad abhi tak soye nai" love is when my bhabhi say “aaa hero I have seen a girl 4 u”, love is when my sister while doing my work says “jab meri shaddi ho jaegi toh tab kaun kaam karega tera”, love is when I do my work n my brother says “chal kuch kha lete hai”, love is when my best friend says “I always miss you”, love is when girlfriend hugs her boyfriend n says, “you are an idiot”......................love is to feel the relation..............” says Parmeet Singh. I totally agree with him that love is the essence of every relation (except business relations, this is why I hate the corporate world). It is the ‘masala’ in the ‘masala-dosa’. Life is totally impossible and equally unimaginable without love. Love is something which empowers you and yet teaches you compassion. This was the broad spectrum. Strictly saying about love with that special person, I would say love is something which you feel when you look at his/her eyes. You feel powerful as if you can stop the world for him/her and equally weak as if he/she is your strength. Love has elements of desire and expectations. People generally deal easily with the former but not with the latter. “Love is all about giving. But at times it’s difficult to do so because when you give, you start expecting, which hurts later” says Shishupal Singh. Love but do not smother (being too possessive), he or she might suffocate. People also confuse the role of sex in love. If love is the meal, sex is the dessert (sweet dish). Would you enjoy the meal if you have your dessert first? Love is heavenly. And there is nothing as true love and false love. The use of adjectives generally lowers the value of the noun. Love is just love. The other word is infatuation. And one more thing love is precious and hence it is rare. And relationships, they are saplings which need to be nurtured so that they grow into mighty trees. It is best said that to wear your heart on your sleeves isn’t a good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best. This was my take on love, what is yours?